Behavior Modification and Listening Skills

Behavior Modification for Listening Skills

We ask ourselves how we can become active listeners? We can try using Behavior Modification Listening skills. This tool will help us to stop engaging in negative listening habits. As a result, we will be better listeners. So, what are some of the positive (benefits) of using this approach? We are happy you asked. We will build trustworthy relationships. While our social interaction with others will offer them words of encouragement, our body gestures will be pleasant. Also, we will be relationship rapport builders because we are using our behavior modification listening skills. Also, active listeners are better communicators. Good listening skills show appreciation and respect towards the listeners.

Listening Skill Personal Journey

After several months of analyzing myself, it was hurtful to admit that I did not practice active listening skills Therefore, I missed opportunities to learn more about the person who genuinely shared his/her life story. Within my conversations, I have adjusted my listening style. While my body appearances illustrated attentive listening skills, my mind was not. My thoughts focus on how I was going to respond. So, I acknowledge that I was operating from a “Miss Fix-It” mentality versus being an active listener. As a result, The “Miss Fix-It” focuses on how I can help them solve their unspoken problem. For this reason, I missed what the person was sharing.

Behavior modification listening lesson learned

I am not Ms. “Fix It.” On the contrary, my goal is to be an attentive listener. Therefore, every time I miss the mark, I will politely ask the person to repeat what he/she said. After many times of this, I will get tired of apologizing for not being an active listener. Also, I will have to deal with the feelings of being embarrassed to ask them to repeat. After several weeks, I am pleased to admit I am a compassionate, active listener. The active listening behavior modification manifests within my social interactions. Consistency was the goal achieved Mind you; this did not happen overnight.

As I start on my listening behavior modification challenge, I thought about my listening style. So, I ask myself, why am I not being an active listener? Honestly, I admitted the problem was my need to help him/her solve his/her problem. However, the person never asked for my help. Ouch, that hurt. I remind myself that the person is sharing. For this reason, I am an active listener. It is not my job to work to find a solution because it is his/her life story. In summary, I am to be an active and compassionate listener.

There is no generic listening skill. Behavior modification is an ongoing process. Since I am no longer trying to fix the person, my mind wanders. I find myself asking why he/her did or did not confront the issues or person’s actions. Yes, I have entered the judgment zone. My accountability partners reminded me that I am not the judge, jury, or executioner. That comment was a tough pill to swallow. Wow! I did not see myself as an accuser.

Fredina’s listening behavior modification

My listening modification behavior includes tender loving care (TLC). This means listening with compassion and understanding while being nonjudgmental. The task can be challenging. Now, I begin to be very judgmental of myself. Consequently, I label myself as not being a compassionate listener. It was amazing to see how I offer compassion to others but not to myself.

As a listener, my personal opinions were avoided. I had to hear, taste, see, feel, reflect, and respect what he/she was saying versus using my personal assumptions Therefore, I remind myself that my beliefs, values, and point of view are not important. In the other words, healthy listening reveals that hearing others help me to see things differently. Listening is a learning and growing process. So, I will continue to practice active listening skills. In addition, I will develop clarification skills. This assists with a wellness balance between thinking and feeling for the listener and talker.

As a listener, I can show the talker compassion. As a result, I can relate to some of the talker’s feelings being shared. Because I am an active listener, I will be calm enough to hear the talker’s story. A constant self-reminder is that I don’t own the challenges being shared. Therefore, I am not there to agree, disagree, advise, or defend. I am just a compassionate listener. Self-talk proclaims “Fredina you are not ‘Ms. Fix’ it”.

Listening skill tips

Healthy active listening skills can be illustrated through:

  • Making eye contact with the person sharing. This illustrates that we are attentive. We are interested in them and what is going on within his/her lifestyle.
  • We can paraphrase when not sure we comprehended what he/she has shared. This will show them that we are actively listening.
  • Most important, we don’t want to interrupt while he/she is sharing. An interruption that not for clarification would be rude and disrespectful.
  • Be watchful of nonverbal body language. This will help you as an active listener to pick up hidden meanings.

Benefits from active listening through behavior modification

Active listening skills build up relationships. This listening behavior modification restores love and trust within personal and professional relationships. For this reason, functional listening skills, when used efficiently, can build positive relationships.

Personal lifestyle behavior modification listening

Within our personal lifestyles, active listening skills can build strong social skills. For this reason, we will build trust and more intimate relationships with our spouses, parents, children, and friends. It shows others we care and that we are interested in their well-being. Consequently, this is good for our loved one’s thinking process. They can talk through their challenges. Also, we can share their wellness goals, dreams, and lessons learned. Most importantly, it shows our loved ones that we are trying to understand them.
This will open the door for future opportunities for them to share those good times, trials, and life challenges. Also, it helps us be compassionate listeners. We learn more about the speaker through listening. It helps us to see through others’ eyes. It reminds us that everyone does not look, acts, and responds like us. Moreover, it lets them know that we are not trying to judge them.

Professional benefits through behavior modification listening

Within our professional world, listening behavior modification opens the door for job promotions. Most importantly, it allows us to work within a pleasant environment. Furthermore, it shows our respect for co-workers, staff, and leadership. Active listening skills promote a productive environment. It permits business relationships to blossom. It eliminates jealousy among co-workers and negative competition for promotions. Business revenue will increase. Above all, it creates an environment for an employee’s incentive programs. Healthy listening skills reduce misunderstandings among customers, co-workers, supervisors, and managers. It can enhance customer interaction relationships. In addition, customers’ trust leads to long-term satisfied customers. Happy customers solicit more customers, which initiates ongoing sales revenue. More cash flow will result in business longevity.

A behvair modification listening challenge

My behavior modification listening skills are ongoing learning lessons. So, by using healthy listening skills, my personal and professional social interactions are successful. I encourage you to join this listening behavior modification challenge. How? First, try checking your current listening skills. Next, allow this listening behavior modification to strengthen your interactions with others. Thirdly, challenge yourself to be aware of what you are thinking about as you listen personally or professionally. Fourth, be honest with yourself and set a goal to change one habit hindering your active listening skills. Finally, find an accountable person. Accept their feedback as constructive criticism.

Most importantly, allow yourself to miss the mark sometimes because perfection is not a part of this challenge. On the other hand, reward yourself as you celebrate your active listening skills. Furthermore, build yourself up through self-words-of-encouragement, but do not engage in self-negative- feedback. View your miss marks as learning tools. Therefore, remind yourself that listening to others is an art. It takes time to develop this skill. In every listening season, there will be improvisions and changes. So, enter your listening challenge one step, one moment, and one second at a time. While including these listening this active listening behavior modification, enjoy your listening journey. Remember each time you engage in active listening; you equip yourself and others with knowledge, wisdom, and solid and trustworthy relationships.

Help on Your Behavior Modification Wellness Journey

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